Chuck Johnson, 78, was enjoying a day riding his electric bike. It would be his last day on earth. Joseph Tillman, driving while impaired, hit and killed Johnson then fled the scene. Losing Chuck that way handed his widow Regina reasons to be angry. Tillman was tried and convicted in a Georgia courtroom.
Anger may be a natural response to loss and pain, but it is bad for you. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is therapeutic. John Hopkins Medicine reports, “Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress. And research points to an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age.”
Forgiveness is also good for your thinking skills. Dr. Frederic Luskin of the Stanford Forgiveness Project said, “When you don’t forgive you release all the chemicals of the stress response. Each time you react, adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine enter the body. Those chemicals limit creativity and problem-solving. They lead you to feel helpless and like a victim. When you forgive, you wipe all of that clean.”
Do you see what is happening here? Once again scientists have found reasons to agree with the Bible: forgiveness is good and necessary. But it takes work to say, “You wronged me, and I forgive you anyway.” Psychologist Robert Enright maps out a process for this work. (1) Uncover your anger by exploring how it has made your life worse. (2) Decide to forgive. This doesn’t mean condoning someone’s actions but it can mean admitting you haven’t been handling things well. (3) Work on forgiveness. Develop a fresh perspective on what happened and compassion for the offender. (4) Find new meaning and purpose in life as a more resilient person and enjoy release from emotional prison.
Jesus told a story. A king forgave a man who owed a debt. Then the man went out and threw someone in jail who owed him a debt. The king recalled the man and said, “Should you not have had mercy… in the same way I had mercy on you?” Jesus’ lesson was this: forgive “from the heart” (Matt. 18:21ff). Receiving God’s forgiveness by faith is your primary reason and greatest motivation to be a forgiver.
Forgiveness is good for the soul. Regina Johnson knows that. She said the man who killed her husband “doesn’t know yet how much God loves him. He needs healing.” So, in the courtroom after Tillman was sentenced, she set aside anger. She walked over and hugged him, whispering, “I forgive you.” His face wet with tears, Tillman kept repeating, “I’m so sorry.”
“Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt. 6:12).